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1.

by PT Loser

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six weeks 02:56
I love the ending of the winter When you can’t tell the ice from the Asphalt From the black tar Crumbling off the streets And I can’t even think about summer Cause I’m stuck digging myself out From the six feet Of snow out on my porch And right now I can’t Even leave the House because The doors Keep freezing Shut and The pipes explode And I’m stuck Inside Worried about Breathing in the Mold that’s living Under the sink Anticipation’s leaving me dry And lusting for the weather To get better So I can go outside And break this sitting spell Cause no ones doing well We’re wasting away in our homes and We’re running out of things to do And now We sleep For 16 full Hours and Engage In social media To drive away The feelings Of missing The ones too far To get to This sucks I hate the cold months I’m growing So tired Of sleeping in And I Feel like Im wasting my Time once again And if I Die In my civic On my birthday At least I can say it was memorable
3.
wake up, early morning pull the sheets over your head blocking out the sunlight but you still get out of bed in and out of the shower brush your teeth and fix your hair hop into your shitty ford and drive away from there it's where you spent most of your life with your spirit crushed under the light that hit you while you lazed off-guard under the tree in your front yard and you dreamed about the future but you always felt alone in lower-middle class suburbia it's what you called your home when high school ended back last June you headed to the beach and forgot about the lessons and the times you overreached and you looked out at the water with utter apathy and in the reflection you saw yourself in agony and you wanted to jump in the bay to drown all your sorrows away let the salt soak deep into your shirt and cleanse your body of the hurt but you stayed upon the shore on land and buried your bare feet in the sand reflecting on the past few years and pacing up and down the piers but you know screaming into the wind won’t take you very far you get out your frustrations end up crying in your car and your fear of missing out won’t begin to fade away unless you give it some more time assure yourself it’s all okay yeah you give yourself another day cause you know life just isn't easy and you think of your friends that live down the road and you wonder what it's like to grow old you forgive and you forget and drive back home
4.
I heard you screaming in the shower the Other day And I tried to figure Out what was wrong I thought maybe you were singing But I couldn’t tell So I tried to ignore it And moved on I heard you come in, around 7 In the morning And I hadn’t really woken up I’d been up late, just thinking about Everything And the worries just start to build up Ive had about enough of this uncertainty It’s hard to get anything done I’m the last to arrive and the first one to leave Guess I’ll never be happy enough Inheriting all of the debt from your parents who bailed 20 years before you expected So you didn’t have time to get your shit together And you’re stuck (and you’re stuck) taking out more loans And the financial burdens just mix with the trauma And you look all around and realize you’re alone And the only thing that’s been keeping you from cracking Is the small bit of time that you spend on your phone And your stomach’s in knots There’s an ache in your head And your breathing’s erratic And you wish you were dead So while you’re sucking down ginger ale To calm down your nerves Just remember the good times And remember good friends in this world YEAH Ive had about enough of this uncertainty It’s hard to get anything done I’m the last to arrive and the first one to leave Guess I’ll never be happy enough
5.
I think I need some sunglasses So I don't have to look People in the eye and I can walk away Another day of nothing and I'm gonna drown myself in M&Ms And cartoons and bad feelings and old fears So just crack open another shitty beer To clear my head Of all the shit that I have buried deep And I think Of all the things that I can't stand But they fade away with liquid mind eraser Tomorrow start another job And consequently start Hating where I work and what I do At least I've got a way to make Some money while I'm off, At least now I'm not broke, I'm just broken And now I can't stop thinking about us And what we had It's nights like this where I miss you the most And I think Of driving over to your place Just so we can hang out like we used to But I catch myself, and nothing hurts as bad As looking back on old times spent with you But sometimes I just like the way, I feel when I feel bad They say in life a little rain must fall I'm running out of words to say I'll finish up right here, I never meant to fuck this up so bad So here's another fuck-up song At least I kept it brief I still feel empty, I still feel pretty ill But hey man at least I'm still breathing

about

This is music, thank you.

credits

released August 29, 2018

guitar, bass, drum programming, yelling, glockenspiel, synths, MIDI everything- Chris Kaya

voicemail solo by Tom Galvin
goofy solo by Chris Keough

Mixed by Chris Kaya at my house. Additional mixing by Chris Keough at a different house. Vocals mixed by Matthew Brennan at another-nother house.

Album art by Chris, photo by Katie Panzella

Thanks to: Katie for lending me the laptop, other Chris, Matt, the Barely March band, Tom, Ryan, The Nesbitts, Jeff Rosenstock for being awesome, and my cat Chunk.

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PT Loser New York

I make music under the name majorly now! Find it here majorly.bandcamp.com

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